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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26423413">The Bin Man and the Shiny Prince</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/toggledog/pseuds/toggledog'>toggledog</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Mighty Boosh (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bringing Back the Boosh, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape Recovery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:54:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,395</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26423413</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/toggledog/pseuds/toggledog</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Howard turned his back on Vince and the Electric Superman made good on his promise on what he was going to do to Vince, had he not given him the cape?<br/>(In layman's terms, Vince is raped and Howard, who has unfortunate experience in such trauma, helps him through it).<br/>AU set during 'Crack Fox' episode.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Howard Moon/Vince Noir</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was a fic I posted on fanfiction.net and after revisiting the Mighty Boosh decided to rework it, actually finish it, and post it here.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A part of him always knew he would go back to these noble beings, these salt of the earth, morally righteous, brave Bin Men. Certainly, these were not the type to turn their back on him, or throw him aside for a shiny new article of clothing. Of all of Vince’s trespasses; breaking his priceless jazz record to impress his friends, badgering him about the size of his eyes, mocking his taste in music and Stationary Village, this was the worst, by far. Howard blanked his mind from continued meanderings of his best friend, as he lifted another bag of rubbish (not held together with a safety clip, how symbolic of the degeneration of society) into the compactor. Riley walked past and nodded at him. Good man, that one. They all were. Fine chaps. A memory flashed through his brain of Vince dancing in his shiny cape behind Naboo, as the shaman paid no attention to his pleas for mercy. Howard took a quick look around himself. The other Bin Men were absorbed in picking up the rubbish. He pulled up his sleeve and gave himself a quick, painful Chinese burn, then pulled his sleeve down again.</p><p>Riley walked past and nodded at him. Absolute King of a man. Behind him, a familiar figure stepped up towards him, still wearing the cape and vinyl outfit and looking, as usual, like a right ponce. Howard could never figure Vince's taste in clothes. Elegant tweed, soft browns, the complimentary elbow pad. These were what constituted style.</p><p>"You eating out of bins again?" Vince favoured him with his sunniest smile.</p><p>"What do you want?"</p><p>He only vaguely listened as Vince launched into a story. Always a story with him. Naboo in trouble. About to be executed. He needs Howard's help.</p><p>Howard recalled two years earlier, when they'd worked at the zoo together. Vince had looked up to him. What had changed, in the interceding years to create the self-absorbed nonce who now stood before him?</p><p>He didn't much care, and told Vince as such. He was with the Bin Men. These were his friends now.</p><p>"You sold me down the river for a cape. How do I know you won't do that again?"</p><p>"I said I was sorry," Vince sulked.</p><p>It's not enough, little man. Howard thought. I need a gesture.</p><p>"Alright there, Howard?" Riley asked, patting him on the back.</p><p>In a parallel universe, Riley didn't come up to check on his bin brother, and Howard said the words "It's not enough, little man. I need a gesture."</p><p>As a result, a completely different series of events happened.</p><p>"I'm fine, Riley."</p><p>The man patted him once more, in manly fashion, before moving on.</p><p>What's the point? He thought. Vince will never change.</p><p>"Forget it, Vince."</p><p>"But Howard-"</p><p>"I've got to get back to work."</p><p>"With the <em>Bin Men</em>?"</p><p>Howard resented the sarcasm in Vince's tone.</p><p>"Goodbye, Vince."</p><p>This time, he turned his back on someone.</p><p>*</p><p>Vince stormed back down the alley, brow crinkling in bewilderment as to what had just occurred. Had he been thrown over, for <em>bin men</em> of all people?</p><p>He took his plan pony out of the silken fabric of his clothes.</p><p>"What do I do now, plan pony?"</p><p>The picture whinnied.</p><p>"Sweetheart! What are you doing back here? Don't you know it's dangerous to be walking around these parts, 'specially once as gorgeous as you,” the hobo, who had accosted him earlier, drowned out the pony's reply. "Did you find the small eyed man you were looking for?"</p><p>"Yeah, I did." Something in this man's focused stare unnerved him. "Listen, I've gotta go so, take care," Vince turned to stroll back down the alley. He wasn't sure what he was going to do now. Maybe go to a quieter area and ask plan pony again.</p><p>"But there was something I was going to show you." The man smiled, revealing yellow teeth. "I think it might help you."</p><p>"Really?" Vince folded his plan pony and shoved the paper into his vinyl outfit.</p><p>"It's in here,” the man gestured for him to come forward, pointing to a more secluded part of the alley. Vince ventured forward and frowned. The smell was overpowering. How could Howard even begin to contend with it? The ground was muddy, the bags of rubbish torn open, spewing used condoms, plastic containers, wrappers, foodstuffs and other assorted items everywhere. A couple of rats feasted greedily on the banquet before them.</p><p>"I don't-" He went to take a step back. The hobo grabbed him by the cape and propelled him forward.</p><p>"Hey! That's my cape!" He shouted, as he overbalanced, landing heavily and smearing the fabric with all manner of disgusting substance. Now the man had done it. Vince didn't get annoyed easily, but this man had dirtied his shiny new cape.</p><p>"Why did you do that for?" He went to sit up, only to have a weight land on his chest, the man's knees pinning his arms to the ground as he straddled him.</p><p>"Indeed, what a beautiful cape,” the man said. "Think I'll take it."</p><p>"No you will not! It's mine! Get off me,” Vince struggled.</p><p>"I don't think so,” the man said. "I told you a pretty little thing like you shouldn't be walking in this area alone."</p><p>Vince’s stomach muscles clamped, a coldness overtaking his body.</p><p>"Get off me!" He shouted, flinching as a hand reached down and clamped over his mouth.</p><p>"Sh… we don't want the bin men to hear do we?"</p><p>Vince's mind went to Howard. The man who had now abandoned both him and Naboo. He imagined Howard coming in on him in this position. No, no he could never have that. He had his pride.</p><p>
  <em>Please no...</em>
</p><p>Vince flinched as a hand went through his hair. His <em>hair</em>, damn it. No one was allowed to touch his hair. Not even How-</p><p>The man leant forward, his intentions obvious in the hardness pressing into Vince’s upper thigh. His heart slammed hard in his chest wall in a jackhammer. No, no no not that.</p><p>His single brain cell flashed back to Kodiak Jack.</p><p>"<em>I love my little Vincey." Disgusting arms reaching for him.</em></p><p>"Stay still and I won't hurt you,” the hobo ordered.</p><p>No straightening wand to save him this time.</p><p>The hobo scooted back, releasing Vince’s arms, as he tugged at his trousers.</p><p>Muddy ground, his single brain cell told him.</p><p>Vince scooted up a pile of mud in his right hand and smudged it into the hobo's face then managed to push him off as the man shrieked, rubbing at his eyes. He then scuttled forward, attempting to pull himself up to a standing position.</p><p>"You little bitch!" The hobo roared.</p><p>He grabbed Vince by the shoulder, swung him around and punched him across the face, with such force he was driven back down to the ground once more. Vince’s frame went rigid with shock, as he was punched once more, his cheek exploding with pain.</p><p>
  <em> My face! Not my beautiful face! </em>
</p><p>Vince attempted to scoot back, to curl up into a ball. The man easily flipped him forward onto his front and ripped the cape from his back, digging his knee into Vince's back, the delicate bones in his spine painfully rubbing together.</p><p>That's mine, Vince thought, unable to break free of the numbness overtaking his entire being. Naboo gave that to me.</p><p>"Yep, I'll keep this, thanks. It truly is such a lovely cape."</p><p>
  <em>This doesn't happen to me. No, this doesn't. I'm sunshine. I'm rainbow. That's what Howard says. Bad things don't happen to me. No, no no.</em>
</p><p>No, this couldn't be. Him stuck under a sweaty, smelly man in the middle of a rubbish strewn ground, his vinyl suit torn open from neck to leg.</p><p>"Now, I'm gonna do what I was planning to do when I first saw ya." Hands crawling all over his bare flesh. "I'm gonna rape ya and throw you into that dumpster over there. What d'ya think of that, gorgeous?"</p><p>Vince moaned piteously. <em>No, this doesn't happen to me. Not me. Not me. Not-</em></p><p>*</p><p>"Coming, H-man?" Riley grinned down from the cabin of the rubbish truck.</p><p>Howard frowned down the alley, where he had Vince trop down a few minutes earlier.</p><p>"Actually, guys. I'm a little worried about my friend. I'll just see if he's ok."</p><p>The men, strong, brave little soldiers, nodded and saluted him. Howard continued down the alley, unsure of why he was even going after the nonce.</p><p>*</p><p>The only consolation in the brutal, painful bumming that followed was that it was over within seven minutes. Vince lay still through it all, moaning in pain and staring at a swirling wrapper before him, his single celled brain focused on counting the seconds, then minutes, over the burning scorch inside of him, the smell of copper blood running down his thighs, the noise of grunts above him, and the slap of flesh on flesh. At seven minutes seventeen, the hobo cried out in ecstasy and rolled off him, whacking him on the butt.</p><p>"Thanks for the great screw, gorgeous."</p><p>Vince flinched. His mind had broken into a thousand disparate pieces. He was barely aware of being lifted, carried across the alleyway. The man tipped him into the dumpster and he buried himself further into the rubbish, wishing to simply disappear, to not exist.</p><p>*</p><p>Where the hell was Vince? He wouldn't have gotten far. After all, that was why he had come to Howard in the first place, wasn't it? Because he needed his help. Howard wasn't even sure why he was determined to find him. His brain tortured him with memories of the way they had treated him, and rolled up his sleeve, delivering himself another Chinese burn.</p><p>In that moment, the noise reached his eardrums. Whimpering, originating from the dumpster to his left. Feigning gallantry and ignoring the terror tightening his abdominal muscles, he slowly stepped over.</p><p>"Ah, guys?" He looked down the alley for his bin brothers. No such luck. They were long gone.</p><p>Gulping, he moved closer to the sniffling dumpster.</p><p>"A-are you ok?"</p><p>"Howard?" Vince’s voice sounded.</p><p>Tbc…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Vince?" Howard forced his stiff larynx to vibrate.</p><p>"Howard. The cape. He's taken the cape."</p><p>Howard risked looking in. A tuft of dark hair poked out, hidden amongst the rubbish.</p><p>
  <em> What's going on here? </em>
</p><p>The tightness in his stomach belied any answer.</p><p>"Ok, little man. Let's get you out of here."</p><p>"Leave it, Howard. Save Naboo."</p><p>"Let's get you out of there." He inwardly steeled himself and reached down.</p><p>"I said leave me alone!"</p><p>"You can't stay in there. Let me-"</p><p>"No! Look, don't touch me. I’ll get out just… please…"</p><p>"<em>Don't touch me. Don't ever touch me. Not now. Not ever."</em></p><p>"<em>You're always joking. You don't mean it."</em></p><p>"<em>Aha!... don't touch me."</em></p><p>Howard stepped back, his heart hammering. As the figure rose from the dumpster, he bit his lip from calling out, and telling Vince it was fine, he could stay in the dumpster if he wanted. Or to just run, to create as much space between him and the piteous one before him as possible.</p><p>First the head came out, bent forward. Howard took another step back. The hair.</p><p>
  <em> Vince's hair. </em>
</p><p>It was hard to comprehend such a source of vanity could be streaked with mud, bedraggled and limp. Vince dropped to the ground and curled up into a ball, still hiding his face.</p><p>Howard’s stomach froze over. Vince’s outfit was ripped, displaying his knobbly white spine.</p><p>
  <em> No, not... </em>
</p><p>He forced his eyes further down the torn outfit, Vince's bare backside shamefully exposed, the tell-tale red streaking his thighs. Bile rise in Howard’s throat, his fingers trembling.</p><p>"Who did this?"</p><p>Vince didn't answer. But Howard already knew. There was only one other who haunted this area.</p><p>"I'll kill him." His fingers itched to go around the sick bastard's throat. He wanted to ask how this happened, but experience told him Vince would not be up to talking, not then. Instead, he took off his coat and placed it over his friend's shaking frame. Vince flinched once more, but slowly put his arms into the coat. Howard bent down to help him up.</p><p>"I said don't touch me!"</p><p>Slowly, his friend stood. Though he averted his face, Howard noted the bloodied lip, the swollen cheek. He tried to recall anyone even laying a finger on Vince and came up blank.</p><p>
  <em> Kodiak Jack wanted to. And you were going to let him. </em>
</p><p>Both stood a moment in an awkward silence, Vince clenching the coat to his chest with shaking fingers, still not looking up.</p><p>"I'm not parked far from here," Howard said.</p><p>*</p><p>The trip back to the flat above the Nabootique was the longest Howard had ever taken. While still obeying the proper road rules and driving at the speed limit, Howard rushed back as fast as he was able. Vince sat next to him, gazing out the window. In the past, Vince would have nattered on about all types of topics-mostly ones Howard had no interest in, or they'd amuse themselves by coming up with different crimps.</p><p>Howard glanced at the figure beside him, frowning. Vince’s hands still shook. He turned the heater up, in the knowledge his friend wasn't shaking from cold.</p><p>"Howard…"</p><p>As he pulled up to the antiques store, Vince turned to face him. Despite the bloodied, swollen visage, Howard was taken aback by his beauty.</p><p>He had told Vince, a long time ago while in the Arctic tundra, that he loved him. Vince had responded by laughing at him. So, Howard had repressed his feelings, pushed them right down, telling himself he would be content to be friends with his sparkly, sunny, occasionally irritating companion.</p><p>Only, his feelings would come up at the most inopportune moments, such as this one.</p><p>"I'm sorry about the cape. I'll make it up to you."</p><p>Howard's stomach constricted, as he blinked back tears. "No need, little man. Don't worry about that now."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"Let's go inside."</p><p>Once inside the apartment above the Nabootique, Vince walked straight across to the bathroom, closing the door behind himself without a word. Howard frowned, considering whether to knock, to tell Vince not to wash away evidence of that bastard's foul deed.</p><p>But then decided against it. No, they weren't going to get this prick through conventional means. Howard was certain.</p><p>Frowning, he paced up and down the living room carpet, unsure of what to do. What he needed was a plan.</p><p>First, take care of that bastard, and then take care of Vince. The latter would take more work.</p><p>In his usual style of reading Howard's mind, the bathroom door opened and Vince stuck his head out. In his hand he held a folded up piece of paper.</p><p>"Howard, you need to save Naboo. Find the crack fox. He has the potion. This is the plan pony,” he explained. "He'll tell you what to do."</p><p>The door closed once more.</p><p>Howard opened up the piece of paper. A drawn pony neighed at him.</p><p>This is ridiculous, he told himself.</p><p>"Outside, in the garbage heap,” the pony informed him.</p><p>Shaking his head, Howard stepped outside.</p><p>Contrary to his skepticism, the plan pony was helpful in guiding him to the crack fox's lair. He breathed in the noxious fumes of the sewer, relishing the warm memories of the brief time he had as a sanitation worker. The week separate from Vince.</p><p>
  <em> No, not the time to think of that, now. </em>
</p><p>Concentrating, he pushed away his sating sanitation feelings with resolve to get the bastard who'd hurt his sunshine.</p><p>But first, he had to save Naboo. That was, after all, Vince's request.</p><p>Hearing a high-pitched screech ahead, he quickened his pace and turned the corner to a brutal scene. The hobo and the crack fox were fighting. Howard wasn't sure which one he wanted to defeat the other. Surrounding the two struggling figures were rows and rows of flinching animals. All were distracted by the two before them. Seeing his chance, Howard grabbed the potion. A horrified scream behind him signalled the victor.</p><p>He turned to the hobo dead on the ground, four puncture marks in his neck. Howard reached down and tore the cape from his body, spitting on his corpse, before high-tailing it out of there.</p><p>With the crack fox not far behind him, he sped down the sewer, losing himself in the immense maze of paths. Spying an entrance ahead, he threw himself against it, landing painfully on the pavement outside.</p><p>"Howard, move!"</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>He looked up to see a set of wide metal teeth grinding towards him. Screaming, he scuttled to the side. The crack fox threw himself out of the sewer and into the rubbish compactor. A high-pitched squeal signalled its demise. Howard picked himself up, and turned to Riley nodding at him.</p><p>Brave man. Salt of the earth.</p><p>He saluted this Emperor.</p><p>Riley saluted back.</p><p>Howard went to leave.</p><p>"One other thing, Howard...?"</p><p>Howard turned back.</p><p>"Wanna go around the corner and I'll give you a blowjob?"</p><p>Howard blinked. "Ah, no thanks, Riley."</p><p>The other man nodded, smiled. "See you around."</p><p>Howard watched this man walk back to the garbage truck, shaking his head.</p><p>*</p><p>"Naboo is saved!"</p><p>Howard fidgeted, grimacing as the congratulations went around the small group of shamans, the organization of various drugs to be taken, the discussion as to who would supply the alcohol.</p><p>"Nab-Nab-Nab-Nab-Naboo!" He desperately tried to get the shaman's attention.</p><p>"What do you want?" Bollo turned to him, irritation evident across his gorilla face.</p><p>"Vince is hurt."</p><p>Naboo instantly tore himself from the gathering of shamans, joining his concerned familiar.</p><p>"Where is he?"</p><p>"He's back at the shop."</p><p>Naboo pointed his finger, signalling for his magic carpet to come to him.</p><p>"Ok, we're leaving now." He frowned at Howard. "I guess you'd better get on, too."</p><p>Bollo cast Howard a distasteful look but said nothing.</p><p>"What's happened?" Naboo asked, as they rose into the air.</p><p>Howard’s heart raced. He didn't like heights at the best of times. Sitting on a thin piece of fabric hovering metres high into the wind blasted sky didn't help.</p><p>"Howard?"</p><p>Howard swallowed. How to even begin?</p><p>"He went to find me. I was working as a bin man."</p><p>"Bin man?" Bollo asked. "What's bin man?"</p><p>"It's a person who takes care of garbage."</p><p>Bollo looked at him blankly.</p><p>"A person who picks up garbage from refuse areas and- look, it doesn't matter. Vince found me and..." He swallowed, once more. "And I was working so I said I couldn't help him." With his cheeks blazing, he looked away from Bollo's gaze. Naboo's canny sight was elsewhere. "Vince went off by himself. Then I changed my mind." He paused, finding it hard to continue. "I found him in a dumpster. There was this hobo that worked the area. I'm sure he was the one."</p><p>"The one who put Vince in a dumpster?" Bollo said.</p><p>Howard looked down to his broad, clunky fingers, so different from Vince's. "The one who raped Vince."</p><p>There was a distinct long pause. The wind chilled Howard’s flesh, tossing his hair.</p><p>"Where's this hobo now?" Naboo asked.</p><p>"He fought the crack fox and died. The crack fox was killed by the bin men,” he added.</p><p>"I don't believe this," Naboo said. "You're sure... this happened?"</p><p>"I'm sure."</p><p>"And you left him alone?"</p><p>"He asked me to save you,” he was unable to keep the defensiveness from his tone.</p><p>"Howard," Naboo turned to face him, pinioning him with his dark eyes. "This wasn't your fault."</p><p>Howard swallowed twice.</p><p>"Why you say that, Naboo?" Bollo's tone was spiteful.</p><p>"Vince will need you now, more than ever. And it will do no good for either of you if you blame yourself."</p><p>I turned my back on him, Howard thought. It was because of me he was walking down that alley to begin with.</p><p>"The only one at fault here is the one who hurt him. You best remember that."</p><p>Naboo turned to the front once more, giving Howard time to wipe his eyelids on his sleeve.</p><p> </p><p>Tbc…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was the time Vince was being copied. At one stage, he gave up, decided to go straight. Put on a suit and gave himself a respectable hairstyle. Vince looked so unlike his friend that Howard collapsed.</p><p>The Vince sitting on the couch aimlessly flicking through the channels was such a shadow of the rainbow being Howard loved, that he was forced to sag heavily against the foyer wall. He'd at least washed the dirt out if his hair. It now sat in aimless clumps on his shoulders, without the hours of styling typically attending it. In place of the ultra fashionable mod clothes, he now wore a baggy grey jumper and track pants.</p><p>What disturbed Howard most were his eyes. They were distant, unfocused, lacking in their usual mischievous spark.</p><p>Bollo and Naboo moved into the room. Vince's pale eyes flicked to Howard, panic overcome by emptiness.</p><p>"Hey Vince," Bollo said, with a gentle tone. "I'll make you a tea."</p><p>Vince glanced at Howard once more, this time his eyes accusatory.</p><p>Naboo walked into the back room, after his familiar. Howard stood awkwardly a moment, unsure of what to say. Vince switched off the television and looked down at his hands.</p><p>"So, what happened?" Vince asked.</p><p>Howard gave a brief version of events leading up to them coming home, omitting him telling Naboo and Bollo about what had happened to Vince. Half way through, Bollo came back with the tea. At the end, Naboo came in with a potion.</p><p>"This will clear up all your injuries."</p><p>"You know what happened to me?" Vince asked.</p><p>Naboo nodded. "Howard told us. Here, drink this."</p><p>Vince took the proffered drink with a shaking hand. He sipped the liquid and crinkled his fey features.</p><p>"What's in this?"</p><p>"A mixture of things. Tears of a few saints, Jesus sweat, Merlin's urine," Naboo said.</p><p>Vince grimaced and downed the entire glass. When he offered it back to Naboo, his face was utterly clear of any bruising, swelling or even blood.</p><p>"How do you feel, now?"</p><p>"I'm no longer in pain, at least. Thanks, Naboo."</p><p>All three sat in awkward silence.</p><p>"Think I'll go to my room." Vince slowly got up.</p><p>*</p><p>Howard stood outside the door a long time, trying to figure out what to say, before knocking.</p><p>"Come in."</p><p>Vince sat by the window, staring at the snow falling down outside. He'd wrapped himself up in his doona. Howard came in and closed the door behind himself, sitting on the edge of the bed.</p><p>"So you got the cape?"</p><p>"Give me a minute."</p><p>Howard went out the room and trampled down the hall into his room where he'd thrown it, before returning. In the time he'd gone, Vince had procured a bucket of water.</p><p>"What's that for?"</p><p>"Give it to me."</p><p>Intrigued, Howard handed the item over. Vince reached into a drawer and pulled out a lighter. He glanced at Howard, and flicked the lighter, placing the flame against the cape. The material was flimsy and flammable. Within less than a minute, he was throwing the charred, burning mess into the bucket of water.</p><p>"Should have done that from the beginning. I'm sorry, Howard. I should have owned up to Naboo that I was the one who-"</p><p>"Hush, little man. There's something I have to tell you."</p><p>Vince sat at the edge of the bed, favouring him with his utmost attention.</p><p>Howard took a deep breath. "How are you feeling?"</p><p>Vince shrugged. "I don't... feel much. Bit shaky I guess."</p><p>"That's shock. It will pass. That's when you'll feel it."</p><p>"Feel what?"</p><p>"The true horror of what was done to you. And I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry it had to happen to <em>you</em>. To someone of such sunshine and light. Because what you're going to go through is... the pain is devastating."</p><p>Vince's entire body froze, what little colour there was in his face draining out of it.</p><p>"No, Howard... no..."</p><p>"Did you ever wonder why I never want to be touched?"</p><p>"But, how could I not know?"</p><p>"I am a great actor, remember. I couldn't expose my shame to the only light in my life."</p><p>" But... when?"</p><p>It had been so long ago, and Howard had, indeed dealt as best he could. Even so, a whisper of the pain, humiliation and shame returned.</p><p>"The week we were apart. Between working as a bin man and sanitary worker, I befriended an ex-con named Jimmy Nix. He was quite the jazz aficionado."</p><p>"So he-"</p><p>"No, not Jimmy. We were at his house one night, going through old jazz records, when one of his old mates from prison broke into the house. He had a gun. He beat Jimmy to unconsciousness." This was the first time he'd told this to another living soul. He folded his hands into each other to keep them from shaking. Vince sat beside him, putting a hand over his own, favouring him with his guileless blue stare. "Then he put a gun to my head and made me..."</p><p>"Oh Howard. Howard, I'm so sorry."</p><p>"It's ok. It was a long time ago. I just wanted you to know you're not alone in this."</p><p>Vince continued to stare at him. "Howard...  I can’t handle this."</p><p>"Hey, little man. It'll be ok."</p><p>"Will it?"</p><p>Innocent face. Howard couldn't lie.</p><p>"No. It's going to be a long, painful road back to recovery. The worst you'll go through."</p><p>"I can still smell him on me. I washed and washed and I can't get rid of him."</p><p>To Howard, the man's death was too easy.</p><p>Vince grabbed him by the chin and pulled him forward. Howard let out a shocked exhalation, as his friend's lips covered his own, tongue forcing entry. The older man pulled back.</p><p>"Woh! What was that?"</p><p>"Come on, Howard, I know you want to."</p><p>Howard stood up and walked to the door.</p><p>"Where are you going?" The panic in Vince's voice froze him.</p><p>"I'm not doing this," he said.</p><p>"But... you want me," he sounded confused. "You're straight... mainly. But I'm the great confuser. Is it a man? Is it a woman?"</p><p>Howard heavily sighed. "I don't see you that way at all. I've always thought of you as a man."</p><p>"But, you want me," Vince insisted. "I've seen the way you look at me, when you think I'm not noticing."</p><p>Howard inwardly winced. So, Vince had known all along. Shame it had to happen now, while Vince was traumatised and confused.</p><p>"It explains the arguments we always have. It's all that sexual chemistry,” he stood up. "I've wanted you too. For a long time."</p><p>Howard frowned. This wasn't right. Vince had been assaulted. He wasn't thinking straight. Vince walked towards him, so damned tempting, even without the mirror ball suit, or the glam makeup, or the fancy hair.</p><p>"Vince, you're not yourself."</p><p>Vince stopped mid-stride, face crumpling. "I get it." He clumped back to the bed and sat down on it. "You don't want me. Not anymore. I'm <em>used goods</em>."</p><p>Howard couldn't believe this was his friend talking.</p><p>"What are you talking about? You're not used goods. You're Vince Noir. You're sunshine. You're rainbows."</p><p>"No, not anymore-"</p><p>"Yes you are!" Howard insisted. He grabbed the computer chair from the side of the room and wheeled it to the front of Vince's bed, sitting down. "This is difficult for me to admit but...I love you Vince. I always have."</p><p>Vince looked up to him. This time, he didn't laugh.</p><p>"I find you so beautiful that sometimes I can barely stand to look at you. Oftentimes, it's when you're wearing your less flamboyant outfits. Like right now. Your hair’s a mess, you're wearing baggy clothes. But you look absolutely stunning. "</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"You're funny, smart, sweet. Everyone loves you. I always have to compete with so many others for your attention."</p><p>"I always treat you so bad, Howard. How do you put up with me?"</p><p>"Hush, little man. All is forgiven, now."</p><p>"I'm sorry."</p><p>I know, Howard thought. I'll forgive you, like I always do. You'll do something to annoy or hurt me in the future, and I'll forgive you again. And again. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment. But I love you. And that's all there is.</p><p>A sly smile broke out across his friend's face. </p><p>"Howard, the tall, tiny-eyed jazz freak."</p><p>"Hey-"</p><p>"I kept telling myself you weren't interested. Weren't into men. But nothing I told myself ceased my feelings for you.”</p><p>He leant forward. This time, Howard leant forward as well. They touched lips. Vince pulled back, blessing Howard with another of his megawatt smiles.</p><p>"Vince, I'm so sorry. I abandoned you. You came to me for help and I told you to leave. If I hadn't done that-"</p><p>"Because I was acting like such a prat!"</p><p>"It doesn't change the fact I wasn't there in your hour of need. And I'll never forgive myself for it."</p><p>"Please stop, Howard. What are you going to do? Give yourself another chinese burn? This constant putting down of yourself gets on my nerves. You are Howard Moon, Great Man, remember?"</p><p>Vince leant forward and pecked him on the lips, once more.</p><p>"Great man." He tenderly stroked Howard's face. Howard took his hand and tenderly kissed his palm.</p><p>"No one's going to ever hurt you again. I'll make sure of it."</p><p>
  <em>And I'll be there, in all the anguish that's to come. You're not getting rid of me.</em>
</p><p>"Howard, I'm scared. Will you stay with me, here, tonight?"</p><p>"Anything, little man."</p><p>Vince favoured Howard with another of his smiles.</p><p>"I'll just...I'll get dressed."</p><p>Howard rushed to his room and changed into his jazz pyjamas in record time. When he arrived back in Vince's room, he was already under the blankets. His eyes travelled over the saxophones drawn over Howard's night clothes and, for once, made no comment in relation to Howard's jazz obsession, as he pulled back the covers. Heart hammering, Howard closed the door and stepped across the room, lying awkwardly beside him, taking care not to touch him.</p><p>"Howard."</p><p>He rolled to face Vince, making out his slight figure in the darkness.</p><p>"Hold me."</p><p>"Are you sure?"</p><p>"I'm sure."</p><p>He moved forward. Vince was facing away from him. He placed his arm around the other's slender waist.</p><p>"Good night." Vince said.</p><p>Howard moved his head forward, Vince's hair tickling his nose. He could smell his shampoo, a mixture of citrus and woody elements.</p><p>"Good night."</p><p>tbc...</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"No, no ge' off me! Howard, help!"</p><p> "Vince, Vince!" Howard shook his shoulder.</p><p>"Huh?"</p><p>"It's ok, it's a nightmare."</p><p>"Wha-?" Vince flopped down onto the bed, and placed his head against Howard’s side, his deep and even breathing indicating him falling back into sleep.</p><p>After much tossing and turning, Howard succumbed.</p><p>He awoke to an empty bed. Frowning, Howard clambered out and opened the door-</p><p>-to Naboo standing in the hall opposite.</p><p>"What are you doing?" There was no doubting the anger in the shaman's tone.</p><p>"Where's Vince?"</p><p>"He's having breakfast. What are you doing, Howard?"</p><p> "I love him, Naboo."</p><p>"Oh, I know that," Naboo said, so off-handly Howard blinked in surprise. "What are you doing in his room?"</p><p>Howard clenched his fists. "Not that it's any of your business but nothing happened."</p><p>"It better not have."</p><p>"What do you think of me? Do you really think after what happened that I... what kind of man do you think I am?"</p><p>Naboo stared at him a second longer, and nodded. "I believe you. I just want to protect him."</p><p>"So do I," Howard said.</p><p>Vince sat at the breakfast table, dark hair mussed from sleep, still wearing the baggy clothes from the night before. He looked up and smiled at Howard. The older man moved further into the room, conflicting emotions warring at each other. Bollo refilled Vince's tea and glared at Howard as he sat down.</p><p>So, nothing's changed there, Howard thought.</p><p>He tried to think of something to say but came up with a blank. Both sat in awkward silence as they ate breakfast.</p><p>"I'd better..." Howard took a final gulp of his tea and left the room.</p><p>He wasn't aware of being followed down the hall until Vince spoke.</p><p>"Howard..."</p><p>Vince clutched at his jumper, the anxiety in his expressive eyes painfully evident. "With what you told me last night..." He paused for an extraordinarily long time. "I'm sorry... The signals were always there. The fact you never wanted to be touched... "</p><p>"Hush now..." Howard said, gently. "It's in the past."</p><p>Vince moved closer, until his face was millimetres from Howard's. "Thank you for last night. And also for not... pushing me. I want you but right now, I can't..."</p><p>"All I want is to help you."</p><p>
  <em>Believe me; you're going to need it in the months ahead.</em>
</p><p>Vince looked away, took a deep breath. "I love you, Howard," he whispered.</p><p>Howard reached out and took his hand. "You've got a lot of people who care for you, Vince. Me, Naboo, Bollo. You are not alone in this."</p><p>Vince caught his eyes. Howard could read the love he had misinterpreted as awe and hero worship, while in the zoo. He couldn't help but smile. Vince smiled back.</p><p>"What's the plan for today?"</p><p>"I'm going to buy you the biggest sack of lollies," Howard said.</p><p>"Are you going to put it in a trumpet sock?" Vince teased, then pecked Howard on the lips.</p><p>"Sure."</p><p>*</p><p>Naboo closed the door between the kitchen and the hallway.</p><p>"What are they doing?" Bollo asked, filling up the pipe with pot.</p><p>"They've both finally told each other they're in love with each other."</p><p>Bollo looked up, frowning. "But Vince has been..."</p><p>Naboo shrugged. "If it helps Vince, I'm fine with it. Howard would never hurt him, Bollo."</p><p>The gorilla lit the bong and took a deep toke, then handed it to the shaman. "I don't understand humans."</p><p>Naboo’s shaman mind went to Vince's deadened gaze the night before, followed by eyes lighting up, as Howard entered the room that morning. He thought of the man who had hurt his friend so horrifically and couldn't understand. Not when Vince was the kindest, sweetest, harmless person he knew.</p><p>"Neither do I." He lit the bong and allowed himself to mellow out.</p><p>Tbc…</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He scrubbed Elixir 37 through his hair so vigorously it was as though his scalp was being wrenched asunder. Elixir 37 was the latest from John Claude Jacquetil's exclusive 'Hair Care Range for the Fashionably Fabulous'. Vince was fond of Elixir 36 in particular, it magnified his hair's glossiness and luster a thousand fold. With this product, however, it increased the magnificence of his locks even more so. Or so he kept telling himself. In reality, he was hard pressed to find any real difference between Elixir 36 and Elixir 37, other than the fact that Elixir 37 had a blue, and not red bottle and was one hundred pounds more expensive.</p><p>Deciding he'd massaged his scalp enough, Vince shifted his head back and relished in the near scalding water cascading all around him. Though he was not yet up to wearing anything that would draw attention to himself, his vanity dictated he should at least make an effort with his hair. Vince didn't consider himself the most attractive man in the universe, but he knew how to dress and style his hair to achieve utmost personal physical beauty. It puzzled him that Howard never went to the same lengths. Given the right stylings, his partner could garner the attention he did.</p><p>No, ultimately that didn't matter. Despite his small eyes, toothpick legs and 'not a' moustache, Vince secretly considered Howard to be the most attractive man in the universe. No, he realized now, he thought this of Howard not despite, but rather <em>because of</em> his imperfections.</p><p>His mind went to Howard's sweetness the night before, lips curling up into a smile. It was strange to him, now, the declarations of love between them. What if Howard realised he'd made a mistake? Vince's smile faltered. Yes, he shouldn't get too content too quickly. After all, Howard was aware he'd gone through a traumatic event. Perhaps his friend was telling him what he figured he needed to hear, to help him through it. Vince's mouth now downturned into a scowl, as he turned off the water, reaching for the towel.</p><p>He told you he loved you first, remember. Years ago, in the Tundra. And you laughed at him, his mind counteracted.</p><p>
  <em> Well, yeah because well, it was all so sudden. Made me nervous. </em>
</p><p>Messed up, Vincey me boy. Because of that, he never told you how he felt ever again. Never even broached the subject.</p><p>
  <em> Shut up, brain. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> * </em>
</p><p>The first customer asked him if he had any Louis Armstrong. Going through the motions, Howard showed him the full range of Armstrong DVDs, cds and records. The customer brought everything he owned of the jazz great.</p><p>The second customer wanted Jimmy 'Fat Lips' Domino, one of Howard's personal favourites. Mind on the pale skinned, brunet beauty above the shop, Howard sold the three records he had been advocating for months.</p><p>The third customer was interested in Stationary Village. Howard only half listened as the customer said he was going to create his own Stationary Village at home. The customer then went on to buy half of the store's stationary.</p><p>The fourth customer was an attractive blonde, who heavily came onto him. Howard compared the Marilyn Monroe lookalike to Vince, and found she came up short. He politely turned her down and bid her adieu.</p><p>He was polishing his elbow patch container when movement coming down the stairs forced his head up.</p><p>"Hey," he smiled.</p><p>Vince smiled back. He'd fixed up his hair, to the extent it looked as beautiful as it always had; a shiny dark triumph which everyone itched to touch, to stroke. He'd also changed into another non-descript outfit, his jeans loose-fitting, the grey woolen jumper even baggier. There was something in Vince making an effort in one aspect of his looks but not another, that made Howard's oesophagus clench. Perhaps it was the reminder that Vince was not the man he knew before. The bastard rapist had taken that from him.</p><p>"Are you sure you're ok tending shop?" Howard asked, as Vince moved to stand beside him.</p><p>"I'm fine,” his smile was fixed, eyes blank.</p><p>"Because you don't-"</p><p>"I'm fine, honest," the smile grew wider.</p><p>Howard frowned. "Ok." </p><p>
  <em>Something's wrong. Should I tell Naboo?</em>
</p><p>The bell above the door tinkled. </p><p>Upon recognising the man entering, Howard sighed.</p><p>
  <em> Of all people…. </em>
</p><p>"Vince! My beautiful blue boy!"</p><p>Bob Fossil crossed the room in three moves.</p><p>"I haven't seen you in a while. When are you coming down to the club? I've missed you."</p><p>Howard took in the too tight blue shirt, buttons straining under the pressure to stay clasped, Fossil's portly frame bursting to reveal itself.</p><p>"Well, ah I've been pretty busy…"</p><p>"Doing what? Hanging with this bozo?" For once, Howard was happy to have Bob turn his attentions on him. "So what have you been up to, Moon?"</p><p>"Well I-"</p><p>"Boring!" He turned back to Vince. "So, what do you say, cupcake?"</p><p>"Well, I… I really don't…" There was an unnerving anxiety to Vince's tone. It was subtle but Howard instantly picked up on it.</p><p>"Maybe later, huh, Bob?" Howard cut in. "Now, are you going to buy something, or-?"</p><p>"Am I talking to you, Moon or do I have a banana up my butt by the name of Jerry?"</p><p>Howard took a moment to try and follow his logic.</p><p>"What do you say, Vincey?"</p><p>"Listen, Bob… I've been busy. Maybe later, huh?" Vince said.</p><p>The other man scowled. "If that's what you want…I've missed you. You're my Vincey sunshine boy."</p><p>Howard picked up the cloth and resumed wiping his elbow pad container. As annoying as Bob Fossil was, he didn't consider he had any real harm in him.</p><p>"That's sweet,” Vince said.</p><p>"You're so sweet and beautiful-"</p><p>"Get away from me!"</p><p>Howard looked up from his cleaning. Vince had scuttled back and his body was now pressed right up against the wall behind the counter, as though attempting to meld right into it. His eyes were wide, mouth pulled back in an absurd cross between a snarl and a grimace. Bob still stood on the other side, puzzled expression scrunching his broad visage.</p><p>"What did you do to him?" Howard stepped in front of his partner.</p><p>"Nothing I… Vince, did I do something wrong?" Bob asked.</p><p>Vince's reply was to sprint out from behind Howard.</p><p>"Vince! I'm… I'm sorry…" Bob's confusion was clear in his voice as Vince disappeared behind the cupboard door, knocking Gary Numan aside.</p><p>"Get out!" Howard ordered Bob.</p><p>"But Vince, I didn't… I wouldn't… I don't know what I did."</p><p>"Did you touch him?"</p><p>"No! I wouldn't lay a finger on that beautiful pale skin. Wouldn't touch a single strand of that lovely black hair. Wouldn't even consent to have those gorgeous eyes look at me without him wanting it."</p><p>Howard stared at the wounded man before him, small eyes widening. Why had he never seen the obvious? Bob Fossil was in love with Vince.</p><p>
  <em> Well he's out of luck. Vince wants me. </em>
</p><p>A momentary viciousness was overcome by pity and remorse. Vince wouldn't want him to act this way.</p><p>"Vince is… he's been going through a hard time."</p><p>"Is there anything I can do?"</p><p>Howard sighed. "Is there anything you want to buy?"</p><p>Bob Fossil stared at him.</p><p>"Because if not I need to close the shop."</p><p>He was desperate to get upstairs and find out why Vince had reacted so vehemently to Bob's comment.</p><p> </p><p>Tbc…</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Because if not I need to close the shop." Howard said.</p><p>In a whirl of colour, Naboo materialized between the ex-zoo keeper and ex-boss.</p><p>"Holy blueberry dick cheese! That was amazing, Naboo!" Bob squealed.</p><p>The tiny panther in a turban turned sharply to face him.</p><p>"What happened?"</p><p>Bob took an unsteady step away from his fierce tone.</p><p>"Nothing, I…" His pleading eyes went to an indifferent Howard. "I did nothing."</p><p>Naboo pierced him with his uncanny gaze. "Leave."</p><p>Fossil didn't hesitate. He left the shop faster than when Vince would sprint out, after learning there was a sale on at 'Top Shop'.</p><p>Naboo pointed his finger at the sign hanging from the door handle, flicking it from 'open' to 'closed', then turned back to Howard.</p><p>"I don't believe this."</p><p>Howard put his hands into themselves, nails digging painfully into the flesh of his palms, gearing himself up for an onslaught from the tiny shaman.</p><p>"Why did you let Vince anywhere near that idiot?"</p><p>"Well, he-"</p><p>"You must have known something like this would happen."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"Vince is upstairs right now, very upset."</p><p>"I need to see him." Howard said.</p><p>"You should leave him alone."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"You just don't think, do you, Howard? You never consider what effect these types of men have on Vince." He paused, shaking his head. "It's just like the time we went to the cabin in the woods."</p><p>Howard’s stomach jolted. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"You left Vince alone to almost be raped by that mountain man."</p><p>Howard gripped onto the edge of the counter so tight, his nails dug into the wood.</p><p>Kodiak Jack.</p><p>Clearly Naboo wasn’t aware of the whole truth. He'd sold Vince out, for the chance of fame and glory. Howard Moon. A man who'd already been violated, himself. To assuage his conscience, he told himself it didn't matter. Nothing had happened to Vince, so no one needed to know of his deal with the grizzled mountain man. Vince told Howard he'd fought Kodiak off with his Nicky Clarke straighteners. No harm, no foul, right? And Vince had been alright after… same old sunshine person…</p><p>"I'm going upstairs to check on him. Don't bother following."</p><p>Beautiful, sunshine prince. Didn't know of the horrors of the world until-</p><p>-until he met Howard Moon.</p><p>And he worked his dark magic on the one person whose blatantly optimistic view of life he was convinced would render him immune. Hadn't it been obvious in recent years? Vince was becoming more manipulative, more bitchy, more… like himself.</p><p>
  <em> I'm worse than Nanagedden or Kodiak or Old Gregg. If it wasn't for me, Vince would be whole right now. </em>
</p><p>Howard looked around the Nabootique, smiling fondly at stationary village and stepped from behind the counter, taking his three favourite jazz records off the shelf. Naboo would probably throw out the rest, dismantle stationary village. His gaze went upwards.</p><p>
  <em> I can't be here. Not now. I'm only making things worse. </em>
</p><p>Taking a deep breath to calm his quivering insides, Howard slipped his wallet into his pocket and walked over to the coat stand. He threw on a coat and scarf and flattened his curls with a jazzy hat.</p><p>Howard stepped towards the door then stopped, hesitating, his hand on the handle. He looked around the place he'd called home the past two years. He recalled Vince in his arms, the night before. The smell of his hair, the warmth of his body.</p><p>
  <em> I'll only make things worse. </em>
</p><p>Inhaling deeply, he stepped out into the frigid morning air.</p><p>*</p><p>"'s ok, Vince," Bollo gently held his hair back as he continued to dry-retch into the toilet bowl. He had past vomiting even bile minutes before, yet his throat was continuing with contractions. "I'm here."</p><p>Finally, the stomach convulsions ceased. He moved his head up, walking shakily over to the sink to wash his hands and face and clean his teeth. The sound of a toilet flush twirled him around.</p><p>"Bollo-"</p><p>"'s ok. Bollo clean it for you,” the ape had the cleaning brush in one hand and was applying duck toilet cleaner to the bowl.</p><p>Vince frowned, turned back to the sink and opened up the cupboard, taking out an array of face cleaning, toning and moisturizing products, then picked up his toothbrush, toothpaste and mouthwash and placed them in a line before himself.</p><p>Clean. He told himself. Must be clean.</p><p>
  <em> Where's Howard? </em>
</p><p>"Where's Howard, Bollo?"</p><p>"He's downstairs, looking after the shop."</p><p>Vince rummaged around to find his specialized albino dolphin spit face wash, ignoring the hurt cutting into his stomach. He would have expected Howard to come up and see how he was.</p><p>"Oh…"</p><p>*</p><p>Twenty minutes later, Vince was still completing his beauty routine. Bollo ducked out of the bathroom, to find Naboo firing up a spliff.</p><p>"He asking about Howard."</p><p>"He's downstairs in the shop."</p><p>"He wants to see Howard."</p><p>Naboo sighed, took a deep toke and handed it to Bollo.</p><p>"Ok, I'll go get him."</p><p>He clambered downstairs to the Nabootique…</p><p>-to find it empty.</p><p>"Howard?" He looked beneath the counter. "Howard?"</p><p>He opened the piano lid up. Perhaps Howard had gotten himself stuck. It had happened before.</p><p>"Howard! Gary, have you seen Howard?"</p><p>Numan opened his cupboard door and shook his head solemnly, then closed it again.</p><p>Naboo frowned, clambering back up the stairs.</p><p>“Seen Howard yet?” He asked Bollo.</p><p>"He's not there,” Bollo said.</p><p>Naboo's forehead furrowed beneath his purple turban. "Find me Howard's address book, would you Bollo?"</p><p>He could only recall one friend Howard saw on a regular basis</p><p>*</p><p>Lester's landlady let Howard into the shambolic apartment, muttering that the jazz man was 'getting worse'. The redhead said this every time Howard visited and he didn't see much difference. Lester was the same old loveable idiot every time he saw him. He passed through the jazz record laden foyer to the messy lounge room beyond, where Lester was seated in his usual fold away rocking chair, his trumpet laid across his lap.</p><p>The landlady smiled at Howard and closed the door behind him.</p><p>"Lester! It's me, Howard."</p><p>The jazz man stiffened.</p><p>"Lester-"</p><p>"Don't come any closer. I don't keep any money here… and I have herpes. A really bad case of herpes."</p><p>Howard frowned. "It's <em>your friend</em> Howard."</p><p>Lester paused a moment. "Howard! Come here and give an old man a high five."</p><p>The high five was mis-timed and Howard ended up getting slapped hard in the face. Rubbing his cheek, he took a chair opposite.</p><p>"So, what's ailing you, old man? You seem down."</p><p>"As I've told you, Lester. I'm not an old- How do you know I'm feeling down?"</p><p>Lester said nothing, simply grinned.</p><p>"Ok… it's… it's Vince."</p><p>"Ah… said to be very pretty, flamboyant… fantastic hair?"</p><p>Beautiful, Howard thought. But the rest is right.</p><p>"So what is it?"</p><p>Howard found it difficult to find the right words. "He's been… hurt."</p><p>Lester was quiet a moment as Howard nervously fidgeted. "Oh."</p><p>Howard looked out the window opposite him to the empty street below. Light snow fell, blanketing the pavement in glaring white. He thought of Vince, jumping around in his underwear, throwing satsumas.</p><p>"Was it…" Lester visibly swallowed. "Was it… like you?"</p><p>Howard was glad Lester couldn't see his face burn, his hands shake. Apart from Vince, the old jazz man was the only other man he'd ever told.</p><p>He nodded, before remembering Lester wouldn't see it.</p><p>"It was a hobo. I found Vince in a bin. He didn't say what happened. But it was pretty obvious."</p><p>"I'm sorry, Howard."</p><p>In a flurry of colour, Naboo appeared between them.</p><p>"Would you stop doing that?" Howard clutched at his chest.</p><p>"Who's there?" Lester stood up, brandishing his trumpet before him as a weapon.</p><p>"Naboo."</p><p>"Oh. Naboo! How are you?"</p><p>"What are you doing here?" Howard asked, defensively.</p><p>"What are you doing here?" Naboo shot back. "Why aren't you with Vince?"</p><p>Howard stared at him, momentarily aghast. "You told me not to go upstairs!"</p><p>"I meant <em>not at that moment</em>. I didn't mean for you to completely run away!"</p><p>"Look, Naboo… "</p><p>"Vince has been asking for you. You'd better get back home, pronto."</p><p>Tbc…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It hurt. It hurt so much. And Vince never got hurt. The only time he could recall was when he accidentally fell on his Nicky Clarke straighteners. Even then, his state of drunkenness muted a lot of the pain.</p><p>Vince rolled over, clutching at his sheets, shoving his face into the pillow. He could physically feel it, as though the man was grunting on top of him. Ripping, tearning, burning, as though his attacker had a red hot poker and was stabbing it right in there. Though he counted himself as bisexual, he had never before allowed another man the most intimate of access, too fearful of the potential pain.</p><p>He had been right.</p><p>It was beyond anything he could endure.</p><p>Beyond the horrendous agony were the hands, moving over his body, stroking his thighs, his stomach, his penis. Hot breath against his ear, a mouth in his hair, spittle running down his neck. The voice, so soft against his ear.</p><p>"You're so sweet and beautiful. Tell me, have you done this before, gorgeous? Surely, you must have. Pretty boy like you…"</p><p>Vince whimpered as the memories overtook him.</p><p>
  <em>Leave me alone. Please, just leave me alone.</em>
</p><p>"Vince! Vince!"</p><p>"No, leave me alone!"</p><p>"Vince, it's ok!"</p><p>He turned over, to Howard's concerned face above him.</p><p>"Howard."</p><p>In his periphery, Naboo hovered in the doorway.</p><p>"When does it end?" He covered his face with his hands, shamed the others could see him, Vince Noir, the prince of Camden, in such a distraught fashion.</p><p>"You can't rush these things," Howard told him. "It takes time."</p><p>"I don't want it to take time! I want to be better now." He looked up, to an expression he'd never seen on his friend's face before. Pity. Howard pitied him.</p><p>"Naboo, can you-"</p><p>"No," the tiny shaman shook his head.</p><p>"Surely, there's an elixir that will speed up the healing process!"</p><p>"Yes, that is true. Howard's right. It's called 'time'. You can't rush it. You have to feel every moment of it, in order to get through it."</p><p>"But I don't want to get through it!" Vince realized he was acting like a child, but at that point didn't care. "I want to be the person I was before. All sparkly and happy; a big bright balloon. With nothing on the inside. Nothing's better than this."</p><p>Howard looked away. Naboo's dark eyes peered at him with such concern. It was all too humiliating.</p><p>"I got you something," Howard said, then reached into his pocket and pulled out a paper bag, handing it to his friend. Inside were a bunch of assorted sweets. Vince pulled out a snake and put it in his mouth, blinking back tears.</p><p>
  <em>I will not cry. I refuse.</em>
</p><p>"How about I get Bollo to get you a tea. Relax you some," Naboo offered.</p><p>Vince nodded, still chewing on the sweet. The shaman abruptly left the room.</p><p>"Vince…" Howard sat down on the bed beside him. "What happened with Bob Fossil?"</p><p>Vince flinched.</p><p>"It's ok. You can tell me," he sounded so sincere.</p><p>"He… what he said about me being sweet and beautiful… that's what <em>he</em> said, while he was..." He shuddered once more, unable to meet Howard's eyes. If he had, he would have seen the fury sweep through the dark brown irises, Howard's own shudder of rage and disgust.</p><p>"Vince… this has nothing to do with how you <em>look</em>. It's to do with power and control, humiliation."</p><p>"But I <em>am </em>beautiful. People always say it."</p><p>Howard couldn't help but smile at his friend's arrogance. But then, it was true.</p><p>"If it was to do with looks, then beautiful people would be the only ones raped. Old people are raped, children are raped. Yes, ugly people are raped. Damn, even<em> I</em> was raped."</p><p>Vince blinked. "But you are beautiful, Howard."</p><p>The other man laughed. "You're missing the point." He risked reaching out and touched Vince's hair, running his hands through it. Vince curled his head towards him. "<em>He</em> touched my hair. But it's ok. I like it when you do it. I’m  safe with you."</p><p>"I want to kill him for what he did to you. It's a shame the crack fox got to him before I did," Howard said.</p><p>"Don't say that, Howard."</p><p>A spark of hope ignited in Howard’s heart. With all that Vince had gone through, he still contained a certain innocence, a determination to not have others seek the depravity men can fall to.</p><p>"I love you Vince. And I'm here for you."</p><p>He favoured Howard with one of his megawatt smiles. "I love you too."</p><p>Vince pecked Howard on his dry lips.</p><p>"You are strong. You will get through this. Don't try rush it, ok?" Howard asked.</p><p>Vince nodded, his eyes massive in his delicate face.</p><p>"Howard… with what happened to you….What happened to the man who did it?"</p><p>Howard shuddered. "They recaptured him soon after. He was sent back to prison. But no one ever found out about…"</p><p>Vince scowled. "He should be punished for what he did to you. It isn't fair."</p><p>Howard shrugged. He was more than happy not to have to deal with it. Even now, he could hear the man's laughter, feel sweaty hands on the back of his head.</p><p>"You look like a right fag. How about a blow job?" The man had said. At that time, Howard didn't even know what it was.</p><p>It was to his horror and humiliation that the man was eager to teach him, thrilled upon realizing he was with a virgin.</p><p>Soft lips on his hand brought him back to the present.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"</p><p>"No, it's ok. It's fine, Vince."</p><p>But the look in his friend's pale eyes convinced him this was not so.</p><p>Tbc…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Although I do feel that the bebop phrase of Jimmy's evolution as a musician-"</p><p>The sharp knock at the door cut off Jimmy's soliloquizing.</p><p>"Excuse me." He stood up from his rocking chair and crossed the plush carpet to the front foyer.</p><p>Howard relaxed further back into the comfy armchair, taking a sip of red wine, as his friend opened the front door.</p><p>
  <em> This is what life is all about! </em>
</p><p>"Hello, Jimmy. Long time, no see!"</p><p>There was a sharp sound, followed by Jimmy falling back, cupping a bloody nose. Howard put down his glass of wine and stood up, his mind at odds with what to do. Another man stepped into the room after Jimmy. He had long straggly grey hair and a large nose. In years to come, the Hitcher would be an uncomfortable reminder of his attacker. He held a gun in one hand and used this to slam Jimmy in the face once more.</p><p>"Stop!" Jimmy cried out, holding his hands out in front of his face for protection. The other man laughed, and then laid into the old jazz hound, punching and kicking him.</p><p>
  <em> What are you doing? Save him! </em>
</p><p>Despite his inner protestations, Howard was rooted to the spot, unable to move.</p><p>The old jazz musician now fell to the floor, attempting to curl up, to cease the kicks to his ribs. The man brutally kicked him in the head and Jimmy went still.</p><p>Howard swallowed as the man now turned to him.</p><p>"Well, hello there. What's your name?"</p><p>"H-H-Howard."</p><p>"Well, H-H-Howard." The man held the gun up to his face, as he stepped closer. Howard’s knees give out, his stomach turning to water.</p><p>"Please don't kill me!" Howard begged. "I've got so much to give."</p><p>He flinched from the sudden fingers through his hair.</p><p>"You look like a right fag. How about a blow job?" Spoken so tenderly.</p><p>Howard looked up to the man, his misery evident across his face. "A- what?"</p><p>The other laughed. "Tell me, H-H-Howard. Are you a virgin?"</p><p>Howard’s stomach twisted.</p><p>
  <em> No, not… </em>
</p><p>"Oh! Are you going to be in for a treat, H-H-Howard. By the time I'm done with you, you're going to be very skilled at pleasuring a man."</p><p>Howard blinked back tears, his stomach icing over. "Please, don't…"</p><p>The butt of the gun reminded him he had no choice, as the man unzipped his pants.</p><p>"Now, let's go nice and slow."</p><p>*</p><p>"Howard, it's ok. It's ok. I'm here."</p><p>He struggled against the one stroking his arm, shooting off the bed to dash across the room, panting and cringing against the wardrobe opposite. It was only then he remembered where he was. Vince's room. Where he'd been sleeping the past three weeks. Said man was sitting up in the bed, staring at him with concerned eyes.</p><p>Howard’s heartbeat decreased. He brought up a hand to his face, surprised to find wetness there.</p><p>"Nightmare,” Vince said, patting the bed next to him.</p><p>Howard relented and climbed in next to him. The warmth of the other rested against his back, hand soft through his hair.</p><p>What a pair we make, he thought to himself. If it's not me waking up screaming from a nightmare, then it's Vince.</p><p>"It's ok," Vince crooned. "I'm here. I love you."</p><p>"What are we going to do, Vince?"</p><p>Vince was silent a moment. "It's your birthday coming up. I've already got a surprise planned."</p><p>"No party."</p><p>The other tensed behind him, so Howard turned to face him, grabbing his hand. Tender touches and kisses was all they could allow one another. Howard was beyond overjoyed with Vince's frequent need to touch him, with the silk of Vince's hair under his fingers, the velvet texture of his flesh.</p><p>"I can’t have a party this year," Vince's voice was a shadow of its usual rich timbre.</p><p>Howard’s heart lurched into his stomach. Usually, there was nothing Vince enjoyed more than dressing up as a futuristic prostitute and showing off in front of a bunch of party guests who adored him.</p><p>"Maybe it would be good-"</p><p>"No. I don't… I can't be around too many people."</p><p>Howard’s eyes pricked with tears at how far his friend had fallen. This wasn't his best friend at all.</p><p>He will get better, he told himself. It will just take time.</p><p>"Hey, chin up little man." He tenderly lifted his head up, to look into the large blue eyes. "Whatever you want to do is alright by me."</p><p>Vince smiled, his eyes unnaturally bright.</p><p>*</p><p>Naboo was busy hiding behind Howard's jazz display, when the man came in, slamming the door open with extreme gusto. If anything, he'd grown more grizzled than when Naboo last saw him, his grey hair swallowed up his entire face, only the blues of his eyes showing.</p><p>"Well, well. Is little Vincey around?"</p><p>"Get out!" Naboo radiated with all of his shamanistic power. "You're not welcome here."</p><p>Unfortunately, the man was too stupid to understand the threat.</p><p>"Don't be like that. Don't you remember me? I'm Kodiak Jack!"</p><p>Tbc…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Howard forced himself to chew and swallow the sludgy porridge. He had hoped the act of putting the substance in his mouth would arouse an appetite within himself. His current level of anxiety and depression made eating, usually a pleasure, a complete chore.</p><p>He felt, rather than heard, Vince enter the dining room, from behind. The man gracefully stepped across the bare floorboards in sock clad feet. Soft fingers ruffled his hair, sending tendrils of warm pleasure out from his scalp throughout his body, focusing on his groin. He clenched his fists to cease from groaning when Vince pulled away and moved to sit opposite, placing his cereal before him.</p><p>"Howard…  I was thinking…" Vince swirled his spoon around his frosties.</p><p>"Hm…?"</p><p>"We need to get away. Maybe go to Euro Disney."</p><p>Howard's mind went to the six times they'd stayed at the Goofy lodge and tried his hardest not to show his agitation. But then, in its usual way of punishing himself, his mind went to the one year they didn't go to Euro Disney.</p><p>"How about Spain?' He was at least willing to compromise. Anywhere... as long as it wasn't the Goofy Lodge… or the wilderness.</p><p>"Why Spain?" Vince asked.</p><p>"Why not? I hear Madrid is a romantic city."</p><p>Vince smiled at him. "Really?"</p><p>His hair was still ruffled from sleep and his eyes overly bright. Howard reached across the table and took the hand that wasn't spooning the cereal.</p><p>"Did I ever tell you how adorable you are in the morning?"</p><p>Vince's smile grew wider.</p><p>"Tell me exactly how adorable I am."</p><p>"Countlessly adorable. Cream clotted adorable."</p><p>Vince groaned. "I've become part of your cream poetry." He caught the hurt that momentarily crossed Howard's face. "And it's wonderful," he added, lifting up the other's hand and kissing it. "Is Spain good for shopping?"</p><p>A tiny spark ignite inside Howard. This sounded like the fashion obsessed man he was in love with.</p><p>"I'm sure it's good for everything."</p><p>"Even pancakes?"</p><p>"Especially pancakes."</p><p>"Panacaka Panacaka…" Both said. Within a minute they had finished a perfectly executed crimp . Howard laughed. </p><p>
  <em>I'm experiencing a moment of pure magic. </em>
</p><p>He wasn't thinking about the flashbacks of merely hours before, nor worry about the future; was simply in the moment with the love of his life and couldn't possibly be happier.</p><p>Heavy footsteps sounded up the stairs, leading from the Nabootique. Within minutes, Bollo's familiar face came into view.</p><p>"Howard and Vince must leave. Now!"</p><p>"What's going on?" Howard demanded.</p><p>"Bollo?" Vince asked.</p><p>"No ask questions. Naboo said. You must leave."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>A gruff voice sounded up the stairs.</p><p>"Vincey! Don't you remember me? Don't you remember ol' Kodiak Jack?"</p><p>All the colour drained from Vince's face, his eyes wide, unseeing.</p><p>Howard launched into action. He stood up, propelling his chair into the wall opposite with such force it created a dent in the plaster and threw himself around the table opposite, grabbing Vince's arm to thrust him out of the chair. Though the other complied, it was as though he was handling a wax statue.</p><p>"Come on, Vince. Let's leave," he said, walking forward, towards the rear hall. There was a back door in the laundry that lead to the outside. Vince followed, still wearing the disturbing blank expression. Howard wasn't concerned. First he'd get Vince out of immediate physical danger, then he would worry about his psychological state.</p><p>They hurried down the hall to the second room on the left, where the washing machine was sloshing around what appeared to be dragon vomit. Howard didn't have time to consider one of Naboo's experiments. He twisted the lock to the back door and opened it to the wind rattled stairs leading to the street. A frigid gust of frigid wind hit them.</p><p>We can't go out like this, he thought. We'll freeze.</p><p>"Stay here," he ordered the still frozen man. Vince's room was the closest. From Vince's floor, he easily located an electric- blue- goose- feathered- one- of- a kind- coat from Top Shop as well as a lama woolen poncho. Ears pricked for any more noise from the potential rapist, he sprinted back to the laundry room. Vince stood facing the door. Howard shoved the poncho over his own shoulders and pulled Vince's arms through the electric blue coat, before shoving open the door and grabbing Vince's hand.</p><p>He waited until they were four blocks from the Nabootique before slowing pace. Vince had not said a word the entire time. They were facing a vivid green park. A frozen duck pond sat in the centre, surrounded by willows.</p><p>"Come on, Vince. Why don't we go sit by the pond for a bit?"</p><p>His friend still shivered. Howard put and arm around him and guided him to the sole bench situated before the iced over water. There was no one around, for which Howard was relieved. He didn't wish for anyone to see them both like this. Both traumatized. Both fearful.</p><p>They sat down on the uncomfortably hard, cold wood. Vince snuggled closer to his warmth, resting his head against Howard's chest. The other man took the opportunity to stroke his hair. </p><p>"I didn't want to think it was a big deal. But… I guess it was. I made a joke about it. Oh, I was almost bummed by grizzly adams. But it was horrible, Howard. He was right on top of me. I couldn't get away. And he smelt so bad. I was so scared."</p><p>Howard tried to ignore the guilt slicing through his stomach.</p><p>"Sh… it's over now, little man."</p><p>"I kept thinking, if it wasn't for Nicky Clarke."</p><p>Howard stroked his other hand down Vince's back, the muscles trembling under his touch.</p><p>"Why does everyone want to hurt me?" He said it in such an unsure way. It was as though he'd  physically punched Howard in the stomach. Gulping down the pain Vince's words caused, he concentrated on saying anything to make him better.</p><p>"Hush now. People don't want to hurt you. They want to hurt me, remember? I'm the dark, angsty one."</p><p>"Not anymore."</p><p>"You will get over this Vince. It will take time but you will. You're strong."</p><p>He could feel the undulations from Vince's chest as he laughed. The sound was surprisingly hollow.</p><p>"I’m not strong."</p><p>"I think you'll surprise yourself."</p><p>Howard looked across the frozen lake. Grey apartment blocks stood in the far distance. He wondered what was happening at the Nabootique.</p><p>A sound drew his attention back to the one in his arms. Howard gripped him tighter, to cease from drawing away in alarm. In the entire time he'd known him, he'd never seen this.</p><p>Vince was crying. Openly sobbing, wetting Howard’s poncho with his tears.</p><p>No, no this couldn't be. Howard had cried in front of Vince before, when he thought he was going to die. But Vince… he was so good at holding his emotions in. Always bubbly, always happy. There's no darkness to the world. Only sunshine and rainbows and flowers and…</p><p>"Oh Vince." Howard wrapped his arms around him tighter, kissing his hair. He brought one arm forward and gently lifted his chin up, to kiss the salty tears, then kissed his nose, his cheeks, his pointy chin, followed by his mouth. Both snaked their tongues inside, vying for dominance.</p><p>They released, both panting.</p><p>"I'm sorry." Vince looked down. Howard could read his thoughts.</p><p>
  <em>I lost control.</em>
</p><p>He reached his hand under his chin and lifted it once more. "It's ok to cry. It doesn't make you weak."</p><p>Vince nodded, eyes still haunted. "I've needed a good cry for the past week."</p><p>"Feel better?"</p><p>"Actually, yes. I do. Exhausted but better."</p><p>He snuggled into Howard's chest once more.</p><p>"When do we go back? What are we going to do?"</p><p>"I'm sure Naboo will send someone to fetch us."</p><p>"What do you think Kodiak Jack wanted?"</p><p>Howard was surprised by the question. He considered answering 'Why you of course' but thought better of it.</p><p>
  <em>Vince doesn't know my part in the Kodiak Jack thing. And I want to keep it that way.</em>
</p><p>He tightened his hold around Vince's back.</p><p>Tbc…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Ooh… I don't feel too good. Just woke up. Have the biggest headache. Last night, Saturn threw a party. Jupiter warned me not to drink too much but I didn't listen. Feeling woozy, like I'm gonna throw up all over the earth. Last time I did that, all the dinosaurs suffocated to death. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I'm the moon. </em>
</p><p>###</p><p>He wasn't sure how long he'd sitting up there for. Perhaps it had been hours. Not that it mattered. No one was looking for him. No one was bothered by the disappearance of one Howard Moon.</p><p>It was his birthday today. As usual, Vince had promised him a surprise. The only thing he knew for certain was that it wasn't going to be a party. Vince never left the house, anymore. He never saw his friends any more. The charismatic showman now had panic attacks whenever a large group of people entered the Nabootique.</p><p>Ever since… no, Howard didn't want to think of it. No one discussed it but it was always there, a dark pall hanging over the small building, ready to come down and engulf them all.</p><p>No, Howard didn't care for birthdays. They were just another excuse for everyone to ignore and/or belittle him. This year was worse than usual. The incident with Kodiak Jack, the week before, still preyed on his mind. Bollo had brought them back to the Nabootique, convincing them Kodiak Jack had been 'taken care of'. It turned out he had attempted to bribe Naboo with a potion that would make him the strongest shaman, in return for telling him where Vince was.</p><p>"Wasn't interested. Now, if it was a potion for instant hash cookies, I may have been swayed," Naboo had joked.</p><p>All had laughed at that. Howard's laughter was not as loud as the others.</p><p>Naboo didn't give in to Kodiak Jack, because he was a decent shaman.</p><p>Unlike Howard, who sold Vince out for a map.</p><p>The would-be rapist was not going to give any more trouble. Naboo had turned him into a mouse, and then, four minutes later, sold him to a five year old boy.</p><p>"Nice little mousy," the kid had said, pulling hard on the mouse's tail, while it squawked, scrabbling with its little legs to get away.</p><p>The latch leading up to the roof opened.</p><p>"Howard!"</p><p>Howard gulped, as the vision materialised before him. A spectacle of feathers and glitter.</p><p>Vince now appeared as he had before the rape. After his attack, Vince ceased to care for his appearance. Understandable, but Howard’s was saddened by the loss of talk of bright colours and soft fabrics.</p><p>But now, now he'd made an effort…</p><p>"What you doing up here?" Vince scrambled up to sit next to him. "I've been looking for you everywhere."</p><p>"You look beautiful," Howard reached across and cupped his high cheek, leaning over to kiss him. Vince moaned into his mouth.</p><p>"Happy Birthday, Howard." He smiled. "What you doing?"</p><p>"Just thinking," Howard looked up to old Mr. Moon, shining down on him. It was a sickly yellow, that night.</p><p>"I like the hat," Vince lifted the head apparel to stroke at Howard's dark curls, and placed it on his own head. As usual, it suited him perfectly.</p><p>"What you been thinking about?"</p><p>Howard was silent. He could never tell him. No… he couldn't…</p><p>"I'm a terrible person, Vince. I don't deserve you."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>Howard gulped, intestines clenching at the earnest expression softening Vincent's already fey features.</p><p>
  <em> He deserves the truth. </em>
</p><p>"I… with Kodiak Jack I…" He closed his eyes. "He asked me about you. When we were in the forest. Said I could have the yeti map if he could… come visit you." He found he couldn't open them, refused to see the shock on Vince's face.</p><p>
  <em> Tell me you never want to see me again. It's ok. </em>
</p><p>"Oh, is that what's been bothering you?"</p><p>Howard opened his eyes. Was he dreaming this?</p><p>"I'm not an idiot, Howard. I asked him, when he came in, where you were. He told me you'd taken a walk up pioneer ridge, left us alone together. It didn't take much to put two and two together."</p><p>"You mean… you knew, all this time? Why aren't you angry at me? Why don't you want to push me off this roof?"</p><p>"Howard, if you truly thought he was going to hurt me, you wouldn't have agreed to it. I know you. If it had been reversed, and he was offering me directions to an eighty percent off sale at Top Shop, I would have done the same thing."</p><p>"Please believe me, Vince. I didn't know. I thought he'd come in and try make some clumsy moves. You'd politely decline and that would be it. I never thought he'd try…"</p><p>"It's ok."</p><p>Tears prick at Howard’s eyelids. What the hell? He leaned across and sobbed into Vince's feather jacket. "I'm so sorry, so sorry."</p><p>"Sh… it's ok." Long fingers stroked through his curls.</p><p>Howard pulled back. "I love you Vince."</p><p>Blue eyes inches from his own. This time, Howard sensed no awkwardness in Vince's corresponding giggle.</p><p>"I love you too, Howard Moon."</p><p>"I love you so much. I LOVE VINCE NOIR!" Howard stood. He longed to shout it, to anyone who would hear. "I AM THE HAPPIEST MAN IN THE WHOLE OF CAMDEN!"</p><p>"Howard, you'll fall!" Vince laughed.</p><p>"Pucker up!" Howard bent down. Both screamed as they fell off the roof-</p><p>-Onto the soft, bouncy material of the bouncy castle Vince had ordered for Howard's birthday.</p><p>"This is fantastic!" Howard laughed.</p><p>"Told you I had a surprise," Vince said.</p><p>Howard scooted over and kissed his ears, his eyelids, his mouth, his pointed chin.</p><p>"You sure you don't want a party?"</p><p>Vince looked away. "I want to…. It's… my friends have all deserted me."</p><p>"What do you mean 'deserted you'?"</p><p>"I'm out of the scene. You know my friends, they're well shallow. I haven't been around for a while. Then they found out I was raped. And by a hobo at that. I'm not welcome any more."</p><p>Howard swallowed, to prevent the extent of his fury from exploding out of his larynx. "Those bastards! How dare they!"</p><p>"It's ok, Howard."</p><p>"No, it's not right, Vince. None of this is your fault. And for them to…I've never been more disgusted in my life!"</p><p>"Forget it, Howard. Turns out, they weren't worth knowing. Fuck them!"</p><p>Howard winced. He'd only ever heard Vince swear once before, years ago, at the zoo.</p><p>"I don't need them, anyway. I've got Bollo and Naboo. And you. There are days when I no longer want to be here, at the Nabootique, wanna go back to simpler times, like when we worked at the zoo. We had fun, didn’t we?"</p><p>“’I’m having fun now,” Howard admitted.</p><p>They kissed for a while, slowly, leisurely, taking time to stroke each other's bodies. Howard pulled away. "You ok?"</p><p>Vince nodded. His breathing was exerted, eyes dilated. Howard longed to rip off the feather coat and tear at the silvery material underneath, to bite and kiss and suck at the pale flesh.</p><p>
  <em> Slow down, Moon. </em>
</p><p>Vince grabbed Howard's hand. "Come on!"</p><p>"What are we doing?" Howard allowed Vince to pull him to a standing position.</p><p>"This!" Vince bounced. Howard imitated him. They rose higher and higher in the air.</p><p>"Bouncy bouncy…" Vince began.</p><p>"Ooh such a good time!" Howard joined in with him in the crimp.</p><p>They continued to bounce, crimp, kiss and hug through the rest of the night, until the moon ducked his head below the horizon and allowed the sun to rise.</p><p>Tbc…</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Howard?”</p><p>Howard came out of the shower to a vision before him. After retiring back to their room following their bouncing, Howard had taken the first shower, walking out with a towel around his waist, to Vince sitting on the bed, swinging his feet, his feathery, glittery outfit on the floor beneath him.</p><p>Howard swallowed what little saliva still remained in his mouth. Vince’s flesh was uniformly alabaster, his chest smooth and hairless, with a trail of hair leading down from his belly button to his welcome engorged penis, long and slender limbs displaying light body hair Howard longed to trail his fingers down.</p><p>“Come here, Howard,” Vince said, sunny smile betraying any trepidation he may have been experiencing.</p><p>Howard rushed over as though his feet were attached to magnets and Vince was the polar magnetic opposite, to his lover’s warm mouth and tender touches, slipping Howard’s towel from him, so he was as naked as Vince.</p><p>“Are you sure?” Howard asked.</p><p>“You’re trembling,” Vincent’s irises were bluer than the sky in the sunniest day Howard had warmed his flesh to.</p><p>“You are too,” Howard said, touching the back of Vince’s high cheekbone with his fingers. “You sure about this?”</p><p>“More than anything I’ve ever been in my life,” Vince locked lips with Howard and both fell backwards onto the bed.</p><p>*</p><p>“I’m sorry….I’m sorry…” Howard breathed against Vince’s sweaty neck, as he shuddered from the comedown of his intense orgasm. Although they had taken their time in preparing, once he entered Vince, and despite his attempts not to, he came within less than a minute.</p><p>“Stroke me, Howard, harder,” Vince jolted up and down, in a clear attempt to keep Howard’s deflated penis inside him.</p><p>Howard did as he bid, nuzzling his neck and increasing his strokes.</p><p>“Howard!” Vince cried out, his come spilling over Howard’s hand and their combined stomachs.</p><p>“I finished too soon, I’m sorry Vince.”</p><p>“We’ll have to go again soon then,” Vince said, kissing along Howard’s shoulder.</p><p>*</p><p>In the second attempt, Howard lasted long enough for them to come together.</p><p>“Much… better,” Vince panted, still trembling from the force of his orgasm.</p><p>*</p><p>As his consciousness clambered out of the depths of his dreamless sleep, Howard’s habitual self loathing informed his sleepy brain he’d imagined the lovemaking the night before, that he’d awaken to the usual cold, empty bed.</p><p>“Mm…” He rolled, onto a soft, fleshy object who yelped in pain.</p><p>“Howard! Ouch!”</p><p>Howard opened his eyes, to large blue eyes staring back at him.</p><p>
  <em>Vince...</em>
</p><p>Tears inexplicably pricked at his eyelids before sliding down his face, as he clambered up.</p><p>“Howard, what’s wrong?”</p><p>Howard opened his mouth, to answer, when a sob erupted from his larynx.</p><p>“Howard?!” Vince now sat up.</p><p>Howard, pulled Vince to him, sobbing into his neck.</p><p>“Don’t leave me… Please don’t leave me…”</p><p>“Sh… Howard it’s alright, I’m here, I’m here,” Vince’s fingers were soft in his hair.</p><p>*</p><p>Naboo took another drag of the bong, allowing more of the drug to ease through his system and mellow his brain.</p><p>“If Howard hurt my precious Vince I will destroy him,” Bollo said.</p><p>“That won’t happen. Come with me,” Naboo ordered.</p><p>Both crept out of the room and down the stairs, to stand at the back of the Nabootique. Vince sat at the front counter, his lips pulled up into the type of smile that banished storm clouds. Howard beside him was also smiling, eyes not leaving Vince’s face.</p><p>Naboo came forward.</p><p>“You both alright?”</p><p>“Yeah, everything’s great, Naboo!” Vince said.</p><p>“Howard?”</p><p>“Huh?” Howard still hadn’t stopped staring at Vince, as though memorising every shift of emotion in the always expressive features.</p><p>The door tinkled and a man walked in. The smile fell from Vince’s face and he tensed, before his lips crinkled up once more.</p><p>“Hi, I’m looking for a good jazz record,” the man said.</p><p>“Huh?” Howard said, kissing Vince’s cheek.</p><p>“I said I was looking for a good jazz record.”</p><p>“Howard, he's asking about jazz,” Vince said.</p><p>“What is? Oh! Yes, jazz…” Howard said, slamming his hip against the counter, as he came to the customer. “Jazz…” He still stared at Vince, with a dreamy expression.</p><p>“Come on, let’s go back,” Naboo said. “Leave the lovebirds to look after the shop.”</p><p>*</p><p>“And then Bryan Ferry told me not to go down the left trail,” Vince said, trailing his finger up and down Howard’s naked leg, poking out from under the blanket.</p><p>“Hilarious! And then what happened?” Howard asked.</p><p>Vince bit his lip. “What do you mean? That’s the end.”</p><p>“No, that’s the middle. You’ve done it again, Vince! You’ve finished the story in  the middle!”</p><p>“No, it’s the end because I’ve decided it’s the end,” Vince said.</p><p>“You enjoy leaving me hanging, don’t you?” Howard asked.</p><p>“Not always,” Vince said, fondling Howard’s now lax penis.</p><p>“Alright, I forgive you,” Howard said, cupping his face. Vince sighed, leaning into the kiss. His thighs were damp with Howard’s come sliding down the flesh. After his assault, he never considered he could allow another man- another person- to touch him ever again. Now, Howard’s lips, Howard’s tongue, Howard’s penis inside him… were more than welcome, he actively craved him.</p><p>“I love you,” Vince said, smiling. Howard’s corresponding uplift of lips reminded Vince of now little his partner smiled in the past.</p><p>“I love you too, little man.”</p><p>Vince pulled Howard down into his back on the mattress and leaned his head on his chest, to look up at the stars, thankful for the barmy night out on the roof.</p><p>“Howard… do you think it’s wrong us…with what the man did to me…. And with what happened to you…”</p><p>Howard stiffed.</p><p>“Don’t get me wrong I’m still….I’m still… recovering but… I still want to be with you. I thought I’d never want sex again.” He didn't add that, despite having sexual experiences with other men, his rape had been his first experience of anal sex. Indeed, in the moment before Howard penetrated him the first time, despite plentiful lube and preparation, he had stiffened, convinced he would find the experience painful. Howard, had proved him wrong, wonderfully wrong.  "But you proved me wrong, in the best way possible."</p><p>“After, with what happened with me...I never thought I’d want sex,” Howard said. “No, that’s not true. I was willing to make an exception for you.”</p><p>Vince rolled to look into the beloved face with the tiny brown eyes. “Really?”</p><p>“Your sunshine and rainbows. You’re Vince Noir.”</p><p>“I believe it when you say it,” Vince said. “With you I believe I can do anything.”</p><p>Tbc…</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Epilogue</p><p>“Are you sure about this, Vince my love?” Bob Fossil asked, reaching out his fingers as though to paw at him but then pulling back when Howard placed a protective arm around his partner's shoulders.</p><p>“Of course, it’ll be great to go back to working in a zoo! I grew up in the jungle, remember?”</p><p>“And what about you two, Naboo and Bollo?” Bob Fossill asked the two standing beside Howard and Vince.</p><p>“As long as you keep up with your end of the bargain. Three kitkats per day," Naboo said.</p><p>“Two,” Bob Fossil corrected.</p><p>“No, the plan was for three. Plus thirty pounds an hour, only thirty hours work a week paid at forty and six weeks paid holidays as well as a dental plan-“</p><p>“Alright, alright,” Bob said. “Just go into your shaman tent.”</p><p>“Kiosk,” Naboo said.</p><p>“Fine, whatever," Bob said. "I’ve got to go. Dixon Bainbridge is coming to tell us about his latest adventure. I’ve got to go clean my balls!”</p><p>“You two alright?” Naboo asked Howard and Vince, affixing them with his typical intense dark stare.</p><p>Vince caught Howard’s eyes and smiled. “More than alright.”</p><p>“Well, you know where me and Bollo will be.”</p><p>Vince followed Howard to their new quarters, which were more spacious than the last zoo and gave a nice view of the aquarium from the west window. As Vince stared, a shark swam past.</p><p>“Hi there!” The shark called out across the courtyard between them.</p><p>“Oh hello there!” Vince grinned.</p><p>Howard came up to him and placed a head on his shoulder, trailing hand across Vince’s flat abdomen.</p><p>The shark winked at them both and continued swimming, with a school of intrigued dolphins following.</p><p>“Are you happy Vince?” Howard asked. “I mean, you had to give up your electro friends.”</p><p>“They were a bunch of nobs,” Vince said. “Besides, I’ll make new friends. You know me. I reckon that shark already wants to be friendly. Besides, as I’ve already told you, I’ve got Naboo and Bollo. Most importantly, I’ve got you.” Vince lifted Howard’s hand and kissed it.</p><p>“I’m not going to let anyone touch you, not ever again.”</p><p>“Howard, with what happened… You couldn’t stop it, not anymore than I could. And there’s not guarantee someone won’t try and harm me again, that’s life.”</p><p>“No, not you, not Vince Noir,” Howard said, burying his face in Vince’s beautiful thick luxurious black hair.</p><p>“It happened,” Vince said, bluntly. “It was disgusting and sickening and I’m still dealing with recovering from it. But,” he spun around to face Howard. “There’s still light and rainbows and satsumas and crimping and Howard Moon. And I still love you. And you love me. I'm excited to think of the new adventures we'll be having!”</p><p>“Yes, it's all true,” Howard said.</p><p>“And I want us to make love, right here on the floor. Close the curtains. I don’t want the aquarium animals to see that much of us… it wouldn’t be right.”</p><p>Howard grinned, pulled the curtains closed and gathered his beloved into his arms.</p>
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